i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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