It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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