he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize