matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
