Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
