just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
