When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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