dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
