So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
