I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
