Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
