I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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