I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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