Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
