so that wasnt chicken after all
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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