just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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