it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
