Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
