haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
