I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i now understand why vodka
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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