some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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