So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
