Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
