Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
