I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
