I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
