She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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