I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
