I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
