When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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