I'm going to jail i love you
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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