That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
