a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
