I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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