so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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