Say something about gay babies.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
