I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
