I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
