Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
