I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
NoShamevember. You game?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
