There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
