well most of my day revolves around power hour
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
