I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
