that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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