Me too!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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