Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
