haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
