He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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