Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
