dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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