Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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